Shawn's Journal

Still in Oregon.

Still.

Nice seeing family and all of that again, but beyond that I don't see much out here for me. Not shit for jobs, and not much of anyone I feel like seeing. Only about three old friends I wanted to see, and was able to see one...Brian, that I've known since we were in 2nd grade. Everyone else is pretty much off either being dirtbag tweekers, or doing the family life thing with kids and all that. Been to some shows out here, and didn't see even one person I remembered when I was younger.

I don't like growing up, it doesn't feel natural. It makes sense to take care of your shit, but I think a lot of people take the whole "growing up" thing a bit too far. All of a sudden you reach an age and you're supposed to become someone else? I don't know, man. I don't know.

I'm gonna have some tea and go to sleep.

Current Mood: Not too sure
Current Music: Nothing

Still out in Oregon...

End of July I went to jail for a 5 year old warrant, they revoked my old probation and gave me 30 days with credit for time served. It ended up being more like 23 or 24 days altogether, not a bad deal. Not a bad deal at all, probation revokes usually get 6 months at least.

More to say, but I'll do it later I guess. Not much in a mood for it at the moment.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Macc Lads - Sweaty Betty

Good morning
Yes it is.

Current Mood: content
Current Music: Don Carlos - Johnny Big Mouth

At my dad's out in Oregon, and doing some work on his house. It's nice having some good work to do. Got up pretty early , and all that can be done today is done already, so I guess I might go get a beer and relax. I had to leave all of my 12" and 10" records in my old bedroom, and had an agreement with the pop for him to send them all out to me. he never got them sent out, and now most of them are gone. One of my sisters I'm thinking...they're both on the shit still, and I don't know who else would take my stuff. Not too much else I feel like typing out right now at the moment.

Current Mood: sleepy

I was going at it through my pants and now I smell like jizz
I learned something today.

If you're going to drink on the job, drink gin.

But mix it.

Get a fountain soda or something, and don't make the drink too strong thinking you're a hardass, because not only would you be stupid, but you would be more likely to get caught.

The thing about gin is...it seems to have almost no smell.

So drink up!

dickheads.

"Let us spring out of our sober shells, and soar like drunken eagles"

Current Mood: catchin' a buzz
Current Music: the jazz station.

on saturday I started drinking at 10, ended up waaaayyyyyyyyyyyy on the northside drinking beers with these crackheads, then I ended up at some fucking gay party...like DANCE MUSIC!...I passed out, some asian bitch stole my skateboard, when I woke up and was about to leave these guys were grabbing at me saying I had to stay and suck some dick with them, and I got pissed. I hit some of them in the stomach, and that didn't make them too happy at all. I was screaming "I DONT GIVE A FUCK! I AINT AFRAID OF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!!!" I wanted to kill. But this guy who I think lived there says to me "man let me sneak you out of here before something bad happens to you" and I had enough sense to know that taking on 20 guys would probably not turn out in my favor, so he snuck me out of there and brought my backpack down to me, and that was that...later on that night, I ended up losing my fucking keys.Well, it wasnt night...more like 6 am by then.

ah whatever. I feel like shit, and I already pissed away my whole paycheck in less than a week.

Not the first time.

Current Mood: tired

Okay...so how many Illinois politicians connected with Chicago are actually on the level???? NOT MANY. Do some research on Barack Obama, just because he's black doesn't mean he's some kind of savior. A politician is a politician, so fuck that garbage. I don't care about his skin color, if he aint real about real positive change, then I don't wanna hear it.

And whoever his name McCain...not interested in him either.

Also not interested in any Green Party bleeding heart liberal cocksucking bitches. Fuck animals, let's go club some seals, and eat whale steaks for every meal.

I kind of miss Bill Clinton, he kinda seemed like just a regular guy...saying bullshit about not inhaling when he smoked weed...come on, we all inhaled. "I did not have sexual relations..." and then having to recant. Hah, and I really appreciate that supposed cigar up the snatch move he allegedly pulled on whats her face, I really wanna do that someday.

Seems like everyone just wants the same shit said in different ways.

More money, more power, and more bullshit fed to you and me.

So I'm back to the same conclusion once again, fuck it.

I think I'm beginning to understand why my dad doesn't vote.

Current Mood: okay

At work, drinking tea. I hung out with moe the other night and we got drunk in his bedroom and talked about a lot of weird shit. It was pretty cool, I enjoyed myself.

Show on Friday was great, show on Saturday was lame as hell...most of the bands were basically just shitty metal. I missed Jose's band, and he got kicked out of the club for smoking weed right after I showed up.

Roky Erikson on Sunday. I might go, I don't know yet...it's fuckin 22 bucks.

That's bogus as hell, but maybe it'll be worth it.

Current Mood: drunk

Time to head on out, get a beer or two, then do a little bit of thrift shopping.

I also gotta give the landlady the rest of this months rent.

bye.

Drank all day yesterday, got church's chicken on the way home from work, and passed out at about 6 pm. Woke up at a quarter to 8 thinking it was the next day, and I freaked out for a minute haha. I was on the couch in the living room, and went right back to sleep after that, and woke up at about 11 with my pants half down with no underwear on, and my roommate about to come in...but I made it into my room before he saw anything he didn't need to see.

Show tonight at the bottom lounge...soul/reggae/first wave ska band called the Green Room Rockers, some Oi! band I've never heard of, some stupid psychobilly band, some other bullshit I cant remember. Whatever, it'll be fun.It's good to be getting out instead of sitting in my room staring at the fucking wall every day.

Jose's band is playing at the subterranean tomorrow, and that should be cool as well. I asked them what kind of shit they played, and he said "black flag, the cromags, you know...hardcore, shit." So it ought to be all right.

My hands are shaking, but I'm not gonna let myself have a drink until I get off work...I fucking forgot to do a bunch of my shit yesterday because I was wasted, and that's not okay...but I'll probably do it again.

Ahh oh well, it'll be okay.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: the jazz station

I've been speaking with Eric about starting a band...actually him and I have been talking about it for fucking ever now... a couple years. Anyways, the idea now is either raw as fuck offensive punk rock, or oi shit. I can go either way, and write REAL lyrics for both.

If we're playing oi shit, I wanna cover "I'm An American" by US CHAOS

I've been drinking at work all day, and I really can't keep doing that shit.

Skinhead reggae show tomorrow or saturday, I cant remember...and Jose's band is playing Saturday night. Hell yes.

I drank with Jimmy and Eric last night, it was all right.

I got 2 hours of sleep.

Drank Icehouse for breakfast.

I'm drunk.

I'm sad, somebody hug me.

I have more beer in my bag for breaks and lunchtime.

So tired.

Current Mood: drunk and sad

Managed to make it to that show last night!

I hopped on the belmont bus right after picking up a one day CTA pass, and there was Eric and some dude Jose he works with. I had borrowed a 20 from my boss right before leaving work(I asked to borrow "a few bucks for the bus" and he says "sure, just give me a 20 back")

So anyways, the show was $15...one day pass $5, so Eric ended up buying me beers.

Fear City, the first band was a little bit generic, but decent still. Oxblood was amazing of course, and Red Alert was great too. Oxblood shined over the others by far though definitely.

I'm sore as hell, and it feels great. I cut myself decent the other night, and it was re-opened, so I bled most of the night, but thats okay. Booze, blood, and pain...and now I feel like I can deal with life a little better right now.

Whatever, I got shit to do.

Current Mood: calm

I cut my finger the other night pretty bad, it was more blood than I'd seen in a while. I slowed the bleeding, and made a bandage with a piece of a new white sock, and some masking tape. Yesterday after work I went to the hospital since I have insurance now, and I really had nothing better to do. In the waiting room, some little black kid shit his pants, and his parents just left him to run around like that instead of at least attempting to clean him up. It was sad. Anyways, the doctor didnt real do much, I guess my home made bandage worked well enough that it had started to heal enough that no stitches were needed.

I need to do something...

I sit in my bedroom with no shirt on drinking listening to the oldies station and just stare at the wall basically while I drink. Drinking like that isn't even enjoyable, and it doesn't do much to cure the boredom...It's just a waste of time, and a definite waste of money...and I don't have much money to be wasting.

Then I go out and skate for a while, make a stop at the liqour store for a 40, go back and sit in my front yard and watch boring middle class stereotypes walk their dogs.

A show tonight, but I don't get paid til tomorrow! Oxblood + Red Alert at some shithole bar on 79th street. Sounds like a great time, but it aint happening.

I want everything and everything wants me
I want everything and everything calls out to me

I want free money
I want free money
I want free money!

Current Mood: bored

Hung out with this girl Ashley on Sunday...went to a show at some shitass bar on California called Ronny's. $3 for a can of PBR...retarded, so I skated to the store and picked me up something instead and brought it back in with me. I saw this one dude Josh I haven't seen in a couple of years, that was cool. Then went to Ashley's friend's house where they cooked a bunch of shit, and I think I pissed off a lot of the people there. I wasn't THAT bad, but just being a drunk obnoxious jagoff basically. I talked shit about Italians to some Italian girl, talked shit about hipsters(most of them were hipsters), and I remember Ashley getting irritated and telling me to stop talking about heroin to her friends. Haha, I didnt break anything or anything too bad but I do feel like an asshole kind of for some reason.

Jimmy called me last night at 3 am, I didn't want to answer it although maybe I should have...but I just don't much like being awaken at 3 in the morning by phone calls. He left a voice mail, I havent checked it yet...he was probably wasted drunk dialing and shit. Whatever, it's cool though. I know I've done that same thing many times over.

I'm at work now, drinking tea.

Time to get back to work.

cunts.

Current Mood: okay
Current Music: the jazz station

I saw John last night, I guess they let him out that next monday because whoever was supposed to show up in court in order for him to be charged, didn't show up. He says he stopped drinking, so that's good if it's true...two drinks and he wants to rob old people, and says he is staying with his grandma down on 63rd street. He gave me $5(I bought eggs and RC), and didn't say anything about trying to stay with me at my new place...so maybe he is actually being honest. Whatever though, I'm glad he's okay. It's payday, so that might be cool if I actually have anything left over after paying rent and shit.

Current Mood: Tired, but It'll be all right

I need a hug

Current Mood: Dry Heaves

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